Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Day 229

Much better day today, dear Reader. I think that resting all day yesterday really helped. I even managed to take my teens out for a few hours this afternoon as it is their half-term and they did not have any plans so it was a shame for them to be stuck in.

I am still feeling red hot inside so got a few strange looks as it must have been cold out today and I am working around in just a t-shirt and cotton trousers and I noticed everyone else had thick winter coats on. I cannot feel the cold at all. I just feel permanently hot. Sometimes I get too hot--far too hot. This must be to do with my body feeling it is constantly under attack from what it thinks is poisons and toxic things but what are actually harmless silly things.

Now it has gone past allergies and my body is just staying in this alert state all the time. The damage must have been done to my immune system due to so many bad allergic reactions. The thing is too with your skin and allergies that many people do not realise just what it takes out of your body after an bad reaction. I had a really bad reaction back in January 2012 and that is what started this off again after a seventeen year gap. I managed to fully recover but inside my body had weakened and when I had some pointless upset and stress I really felt my body break inside. And this year I was to go on and have several bad reactions and this is bound to take its toll on the body. It must and in my case I believe it to have.
 All I know now is that my body is damaged and that I know stress makes my condition worse. For example I feel generally unwell all the time but can cope but my body, in its heightened hot alert stage, is hard enough to manage--but give me stress on top of this and my body cannot cope simple as that. The thing is also the stress I have been given is such silly things that I really do not need to be bothered with and things that really do not matter at the end of the day.  My illness is far more important.

I have a medical condition. I am handling it. According to my doctors I am handling it well. I am getting on with my life the best I can. I am handling it in a positive and active way to get this under control as fast as I can. I have no control over my symptoms the condition is there and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Stress will only worsen my state and my condition. In order to beat this I need a clear mind and I have that. I do not need to bother with such trivial things that do not matter. Life is precious and can be simple there is no need to make it far more complicated than what it can be. I learned long ago to let things go and to move on. And for now this is the main focus of my time and energy and I have no time or thoughts for things that simply do do not matter and are just a waste of my time and energy.

Evening all x x x

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