Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Day 38

Well dear Reader, I had another call today from the PPI people. My voice is back, but a little croaky and I was not answering my phone yesterday due to losing my voice. Now dear Reader, I have spoke before on an earlier post how I have found the best to deal with these pesky PPI people. They simply do not listen if you say you are not interested, they still call you back. If you are a bit assertive and maybe a touch rude because you are annoyed with them. They still call back. So here is how I dealt with the call. If you want to see my first PPI call, I mentioned it in Day 29

First the lady from the call centre gave me her sales pitch.

PPI Woman: "Good afternoon Madam could I speak to Mrs B please?"

Me: "Yes this is Mrs B"

PPI Woman: "Good afternoon Madam, I am here to help you. You have got PPI to claim back and I am here to give you your money back."

Me: "Oh yes I think I got one of your many texts yesterday, saying you had fifteen hundred pounds for me?"

PPI Woman: "Erm... yes okay."

Me: "Please can we just crack on then and you tell me how I can get my money, so I can book a holiday. I quite fancy Spain I bet it is much warmer than here in the UK at the moment Do you?" "Or maybe Italy"

PPI Woman: "Madam Madam could I just interrupt you? I am here to help you I am not a sales person"

Me: "So you can guarantee that from this phone call, calling me you know I am entitled to PPI back?"

PPI Woman: "Yes"

Me: "Definitely?"

PPI Woman: "Yes Madam"

Me: "Wow that is good news I feel like I have won the lottery. I am so excited."

PPI Woman: "Okay Madam now I need to ask you three questions."

Me: "Okay."

PPI Woman: "You must answer these questions with a yes or a no."

ME: "Okay...I mean yes."

PPI Woman: "Do you have a credit card?"

Me: "Erm, I don't know. Does that count as a no?"

PPI Woman: "Sorry madam. Okay, we will move on to the next question."

Me: "Okay"

PPI Woman: "Do you have a mortgage?"

Me: "I don't know."

PPI Woman: "Okay, let's move on to the last question. Do you have any loans?"

Me: "I don't know."

PPI Woman: "Sorry."

Me: "I don't know if I should share with you such personal information over the phone, I don't know your name or nothing."

PPI Woman: "My name is Olivia and I am a very nice lady. I am calling from India."

Me: "Okay."

PPI Woman: "This is not a sales call. I am nice lady here to help you."

Me: "Okay, can you please then just tell me how I can claim my money, I am feeling I am wasting lots of your time here."

PPI Woman: "Madam, could I call you back tomorrow morning at 9:30 please?"

Me: "Tomorrow could be difficult because I have an appointment with my probation officer."

PPI Woman: "10:30?"

Me: "That will be my court case then."

PPI Woman: "I call you at 9:30 then?"

Me: "No Olivia, I just told you tomorrow morning is a very busy time for me."

PPI Woman: "What time will you be back then?"

Me: "Well it depends on how my court case goes. Will you wish me luck Olivia? Nobody has wished me luck and this could be the last phone call I take in a long time."

PPI Woman: I am going to call you back at 9:30 tomorrow morning, okay?"

Me: "But Olivia, I have told you I will not be in."

PPI Woman: "I will catch you when you will be in then."

Me: "But Olivia, I might be at her Majesty's pleasure."

PPI Woman: "I will catch you when you are in then."

Me: "That is it Olivia, I was caught, so you cannot catch me. It does not look good for me. I am going to jail. I just know it. This is the third time I have been caught nicking Jaffa Cakes from Morrisons."

The PPI Woman then hung up.

Evening all x x x


  1. What fun - I tend to ignore these phone calls, but every now and then it's fun to engage.

    So if someone gives me a name, and a company, I make a point of writing it down, and thanking them, as now I know who I should report to the telephone preference service!

    I know of someone who creates complete characters to engage in these calls, and keeps them going for ages pretending to be an old man with no friends enjoying the chat. Well, it's one way of fighting back!

  2. Thanks for stopping by Jo, nice to see you! I did try to ignore these calls too, but when one day I had the phone ringing all day, that is when I decided to have some fun! I do characters too my best so far was Cher Locke_Holmes! See older post. I get quite carried away too once in character. I just do not know what my mouth will come out and say next!