Friday, 5 July 2013

Day 118

During my thirty-nine years living and breathing as me, dear Reader, there is one thing that I really do not enjoy and find most uncomfortable and that is when people fall out with you. In my case it will be usually over something silly that I have supposed to have done and the people involved don't speak to me anymore.

Well when I talk about this, I mean it does not happen to me a lot. I can count on one hand the number of people who have fallen out with me. I know I can get on with anyone. But there has been certain times in my life when people have become difficult and I think they wished to end our friendship and cut me off anyway. This is because in each and every case it got to a point were I could not do anything right by them or they have had too much happen in their lives.

My gran used to say if you get close to people and then something horrible happens in their lives and you see it all, some people will want to end the friendship because they do not like you to see them at their most vulnerable.

I understand that some people just do not like us and that you cannot please everyone all the time. But to me it makes things awkward when people do not speak to you. I cannot do it. I cannot go in a room and not talk to people. Especially when it is family. I would rather avoid going to family get-togethers, than be in a room with someone I know who has chosen to stop talking to me. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and even ill.

I think anyone with a medical condition like I have knows and realises that time is precious and it should not be wasted on petty squabbles. When they come round and decide to end their beef with me, I do always speak and never old grudges.

That is one thing my gran said she liked about me that it was not in my nature to stop speaking to people and that she knew how uncomfortable it made me.  That is what I miss about her, she just knew me sometimes better than I know myself!

Evening all X X X

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